Keeping a promise lays the foundation for trust and respect—and is part of learning essential skills like responsible decision-making and building relationships. When our behavior is consistent, it allows others to build faith in us. Fostering these habits in early elementary school (and beyond) forms habits that leads to reliability and personal integrity.
When helping students learn these skills, keep this objective in mind: teach them how to make an agreement with themselves or others and understand the importance of taking responsibility for upholding agreements. They must also learn what to do if agreements are broken.
What is an Agreement?
An agreement is a promise you make with either yourself or other people.
These can be promises you make with words or through actions.
Learning and Discussion: Types of Agreements
Verbal Agreements
Promises with words, or verbal agreements, are the things you say are going to do. If you tell someone that you are going to do something, you are making a verbal agreement.
Example:
If you tell your parent or caregiver that you are going to clean your room that means you are promising them that your room will be cleaned.
Many times when thinking about agreements, people typically think about the agreements you make with other people. Making and keeping agreements with yourself is just as important as making agreements with others.
The agreements you make with yourself are things that you promise yourself you will do.
These agreements can be simple things, like agreeing to complete your homework every night so you can do better in school or agreeing to study for a test a few nights in advance so you can get good grades.
Non-Verbal Agreements
There are other kinds of agreements people make that don’t use words at all. These are called non-verbal agreements.
These are the things that we agree to do when we willingly go somewhere or do something.
Example:
When you walk into school every morning you are making an agreement to follow the school rules.
When you step onto the bus to go to school, you are making an agreement to follow the rules of the bus.
When you go to a restaurant for dinner, as soon as you order, you are making an agreement to pay for the things you order.
When your teacher gives you homework, you are agreeing to complete it and bring it back to school the next day.
Making and Keeping Agreements
Making and keeping agreements are very important. In order for people to believe what you say and trust you, you need to make sure you do everything you can keep your agreements.
When you do everything you can to make sure you keep your agreements, it’s called “upholding” your agreement.
If you don’t uphold your agreements, sometimes negative things can happen.
Example:
If you don’t clean your room after you’ve been asked you to, you can get in trouble and/or lose privileges.
If you don’t follow the rules of the school bus, you could lose your ride to school by getting suspended off the bus.
If you don’t pay your bill in a restaurant, you could have the police called.
If you don’t do your homework, you could lose recess and points in class.
In order to help make and keep agreements— either verbal or non-verbal—it’s important that you use two things: your head and your heart.
Use Your Head
Ask Yourself...
Do I understand the agreement?
Can I keep it?
What do I need to do to keep it?
Use Your Heart
Ask Yourself...
Who could I hurt if I don’t keep this agreement?
Who could be disappointed if I break this agreement?
Who might get in trouble if I break this agreement?
Example:
When you get onto the bus each morning and you make the agreement to follow the bus rules.
When you use your head, you remember the bus rules and sit somewhere where you can follow those rules.
When you use your heart, you think about how upset your parents or caregivers would be if you get suspended off the bus and they have to drive you to school.
The next time you are making an agreement (either with words or just with actions), remember to use you head and your heart! Want to take this lesson a step further? Try the activity Five Promises to reinforce these concepts and engage young learners.
