It’s a fact: dealing with negative behaviors can often be challenging and draining. Whether it’s an individual student disrupting the group or a number of students feeling the same BIG emotions, maintaining a positive outlook is crucial for both your own personal well-being and the success of your students.

Let’s walk through a few helpful strategies and tips to help you get through these situations feeling more confident and resilient.

First, start by setting expectations together as a group. 

Empower your students to use their voice and be responsible young people by taking part in coming up with classroom expectations. Post those expectations somewhere where all students can see, and reference them frequently. Once expectations are established, hold students accountable to those expectations on a consistent basis. Teach students how to hold each other accountable to classroom expectations.

Next, build genuine, trusting relationships with your kids by actively listening and dialoguing. 

This enables you to understand their individual needs and identify ways of coping with difficult situations or feelings. Taking the time to know them personally will enhance your understanding of their emotions, experiences, triggers, and typical responses. 

You can do this by actively listening to their needs and concerns, and “stepping into your students’ shoes” to consider things from their perspective. 

Before responding to challenging behavior, do an emotional check-in on yourself. 

Assess your emotions and tone. Acknowledge that experiencing emotions is normal. It can be beneficial to communicate this to your students by stating what the behavior was and how it made you feel.

For example, “Jackson, when you ran down the hallway when I specifically asked you to walk, it made me feel disappointed.” 

Ensure your response is based on the behavior itself rather than an impulsive reaction to your emotions. Regulate your emotions by questioning whether your chosen response aligns with how you would handle the behavior in different circumstances, with any student, or when you are not emotionally charged.

Don’t forget QTIP to help you pause. 

QTIP stands for “Quit Taking It Personally,” and is a great reminder when you need to pause and take a deep breath before responding to an escalated situation.

When students display challenging behavior it is not a personal attack against you —and even if it is, responding negatively will only heighten the situation. Instead, try to find the root cause of the issue. Every behavior response stems from a specific cause. Finding the cause of the issue will help you gain a clearer understanding of how to find a solution.

Create a network of supportive adults.

It’s very likely you are not the only adult working with that child. Find all the adults that engage with that child on a regular basis and join forces to build a support team. Collaborate and work together to come up with goals for the student. Frequent communication with other adults who interact with the student can provide valuable insights into patterns of behavior or specific areas where the student may require additional support. Examples: other teachers, guidance counselors, parents, coaches, etc. With structure and consistency, working towards positive behaviors becomes a team effort.

And, when you see students displaying positive behaviors, acknowledge it to reinforce it!

Reinforcing positive behaviors and positive praise encourages the behavior to continue.

Likewise, constant acknowledgement of the challenging behaviors ends up reinforcing those unwanted behaviors.  Even small behaviors are important and deserve praise and acknowledgement.

Staying positive in the face of negative behaviors in not easy, however, it is important for anyone who works with kids on a regular basis. By cultivating self-awareness and practicing self-management skills, we can create a nurturing and supportive environment for kids to thrive in. By managing our own emotions, we can model self-control and provide a positive example for children to follow.